The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
