dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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