I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
where are you?
Hypothermia
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
