You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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