All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize