Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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