I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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