My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
