So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
