If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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