I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize