Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
