We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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