remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
