I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
