So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
