You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
