she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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