Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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