Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
