She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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