The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
