At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
