Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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