I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Michael Bay diarrhea
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
