I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
