I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
