Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
