I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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