i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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