I cockslap morals
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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