PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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