i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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