If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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