Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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