actually, I'm a sock model
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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