bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
