I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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