I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
