A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
