my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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