last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
