Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
