And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
