You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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