I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
