This girl is more easily done than said...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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