it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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