Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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