And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
