U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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