ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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