Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
