i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hippo gnu deer
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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