It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
