Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
