I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
