Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
