Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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