he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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